Aspie in a Group or a Party situation

Some Aspies (including myself) gets uncomfortable or outright panicky in group or a party situation.   I've found following can exacerbate the situation:

1.   Dehydration

2.   Noise, lighting

3.   Unfamiliar venue

4.   No one else you know and who can help out.

5.   Length of time.   Some NTs are willing to spend 3+ hours together, talking strangely irrelevant and uninteresting things between themselves.   It becomes exhausting pretty fast for Aspies.

So before going into these situations, be prepared:

1.  chart out the venue in advance, including women's rooms.    

2.  drink lots of water, to stay hydrated and provide excuse to go to women's rooms where you get to relax a bit.

3.  Is there anyway to block out noises?   Ear plugs are sometimes an ineffective and too obvious solution

4.  Always go with someone close, so he/she can help you engineer an escape

5.  Always schedule something else 1 hour after the party event, so that you can say "Unfortunately i have this other thing to go to"

Anything to add?

Dating Milestones for the girl Aspie

Major Milestones Contributed By Aulë.  Thanks!
1)  First date should take place in a public, safe area, that is familiar to you.   Try to arrange a double date preferably.    Schedule it for 60-90 minutes and schedule something afterwards that you spend with your family so that you can get out for a good reason.      
2)  Don't kiss AT ALL until after the 3rd date.
3) Take him to see your parents, before the sixth date.    Ask to see his parents.  Tell him about your Asperger's at that point.
4) Don't fall into bed until at least after the 12th date. Check first to see whether your family and friends likes him.   Also ask your doctor for methods of birth control.

Autistic Girl Communicating own blog

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/MindMoodNews/story?id=8258204&page=1

This is very much my experience though my case was less severe.   Autistic kid should have as much English+Math+Engineering education as possible because those're the few ways to communicate and produce something.   Not less.  More.

Also, try the old fashioned typewriter.   The click sounds can be soothing.   Bikes and pets are also awesome

10 Tips for Asperger Singles in Dating

1.   Keep eye contact to the person you talk to.   look at the eyes for 1 sec, then move to his nose/forehead for 1 sec.   Is there another formula that works better for women?  or men?

2.   Do not interrupt other's conversation.   If you already interrupted, then say "
"excuse me,  sorry to interrupt, but this matter needs your attention"  or "excuse me, please continue, i'll be happy to wait"  or something like that

3.  Practice on strangers.    

4.  Draw a list of all the tasks you want to learn and do.  Then rank them from the simplest to the hardest.   Starts out with the simplest then methodically cross them out one by one

5.  If you do not understand why someone is angry/frustrate with you, say it.   Ask them to repeat or say in another way.   Offer them a drink (non alcoholic if possible).   It will cool them down and buy you some time.

6.  Learn the facial expressions.

7.  Measure your reaction time.   Improve the reaction time to recognize facial expressions and judge motives.

8.  Read a book
http://books.google.com/books?id=S_ffhMnsufAC&printsec=frontcover&dq=why+marriage+succeed+or+fail&hl=en&ei=-uAsTcWiFYOusAO1quCPBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CCYQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=why%20marriage%20succeed%20or%20fail&f=false

9.  Go out on a date, any date for practice sake.   But be cautious.  Tell your family where you are going and who you are meeting.  Initial meetings should all be in public!    Learn to judge people's motives.


10.   From Katie Jones's Husband.  Thank you both!

his suggestion is to find someone that you like and find attractive that has a lot of the same interests and skills that you have yourself. its easier to relate to someone that likes most of the same stuff that you do. for instance of you like video games look for a fellow gamer, or if you like to read try a bookworm . Being able to relate to your partner in likes and dislikes makes conversations etc easier for Aspies. He also said remember to check yourself when you get going on a topic of interest, allow for reciprical conversation back and forth rather than just going on and on , its a hard thing to do , and sometimes works best if you meet someone at a party or event and have a non aspie friend with you to kind of give you prompts and hand signals etc to know when yo ease up. He also said dont try to practice conversations etc , because then when they dont go the way you want them to you wont shut down. He also said take things in baby steps and keep initial meets short but fun , so you arent overwhelmed. gradually lengthen your dates over time. if you have a date that goes bad , reflect back on it and learn from it , but dont obsess about it , because it will make you panic and not want to date again. 11.  From the AspieWeb http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-dating-tips/